View Full Version : Favourite KITH sketch

Johnny Panic
11-14-2003, 03:14 AM
Their show was a bit hit-and-miss, but there were some real gems. What do people think was their best sketch?

I'd have to go for "Bell...Biv....Devoe..."

11-27-2003, 02:20 AM
i would have to say i always remember the sketch where Kevin McDonald plays a guy who goes on vacation... he ends up catching a "cursed" fish.. and grows a beard upon the best time of his life. When he returns home, everyone tries to get him to shave the beard off but it seems to be carrying the curse. His job is threatened... his wife complains she is going to leave him.. so what does he do? he throws himself out a 20th story window.


12-24-2003, 09:48 AM
My favorite Sketches were the 2 Lex and Dean ones.
"Slipped my Mind" and "Will Do" are still my favourite expressions.

01-02-2004, 08:42 PM
Has got to be the fur trappers in the office building. Me & my friends love that one.

I saw them on tour when they came to the Tower in Upper Darby, PA. THey were fantastic. Very polite, too; they came outside after the show and signed autographs.

01-18-2004, 06:13 PM
One I love, but always forget about is the one with Tucker, and the car with Ultimate security system.

dane atkinson
01-19-2004, 02:33 AM
my favorite is a two way tie

1. the one where the guy couldnt start his car and did all kinds of things to it like paint it and kick the tire, and it turned out there was a baby in the engine

2. the one where bruce played the guy at the bar, and kevin was his friend, and bruce wanted to fight the big guy outside, and he ran into the fist from the other side of the alley........his face was really funny when he was running

01-30-2004, 01:34 PM
Funny you should mention that, dane. Because the one where the car won't start is one of my favorites as well.

I also like the one where Scott Thompson is in his dressing room , having just come off stage where he read the names of people who had died of AIDS. In his mirror, the "Real" Buddy (played by Mark McKinney) contacts him from beyond the grave, and they have a hilarious discussion.

Anyone seen that one?

01-30-2004, 03:05 PM
hahaha....the too many gay guys named David. He's nicknames are Davie and Jenny Craig, I love that one!!!

01-30-2004, 10:53 PM
I dont know that I could ever pick an all-time favorite...

The one with Dave as the wife and Kevin as the husband that always said the wrong thing:

...How was I supposed to know he was deaf! ...How was I supposed to know they were having sex!

yeah... heh heh heh. good laugh.

01-31-2004, 09:29 AM
my favorite would have to be the one where all the guys in the office are talking about how all of their wives got back that morning and that the wife had found something that had belonged to the hooker that had been there last night, so each guy had to pretend that the hooker's things were actually his. they all went into the office with some female thing on, like earrings or high-heeled shoes, except one guy had an extra male accessory, and all the other guys just stared at him strangely (i realize i'm kind of bad at explaining this, sorry)

01-31-2004, 06:24 PM
Well the two I'd sight would be the following:

Sciorra, the friendliest killer shark (or was it a whale)..."I'm half the man I used to be. No, really. My wife measured me, I'm exactly half."


Buddy Cole on the deserted island with Oscar Wilde.

01-31-2004, 08:15 PM
I've been waiting for someone to say it but they haven't yet... were's the love to Sir Simon Milligan and his manservant Hecubus? They were the highlight characters of the tour....in my opinion.

02-01-2004, 07:41 PM
n e one ever see the guy would would crush peoples heads? any of thoes are great and the one where he gets in a fight with the guy who pinches peoples faces

and any of the ones with the cab driver pure genius.

02-02-2004, 07:57 PM
The skit where kevin has a list and is trying to keep his life in order and he gets kidnapped by robbers. The head robber keeps saying "stop it or i'll do this" and shooting someone. That one always makes me crack up.

02-03-2004, 09:36 AM
hahaha, today school is cancelled for me, and that means i can watch kids in the hall today!!! i also like the skits where scott thompson is the owner of a bar, and he sits or lies on the bar and talks about whatever.

02-04-2004, 10:27 PM
Yes!! lol I love ... "Seven things to do.. got seven things to do..." I forgot about that one. It's so hard to pick a favorite because they're all great. The headcrusher ones are pretty funny. I love the one when there's Nobody home!
I'd have to say that my favorite Buddy Cole skit was when he was trying out dancers in virtual reality, but it was pretttyyy damn real! haha yup... and lets see.
Oh yes, another one that was metioned - sir simon and hecubus. DEFINATELY AWESOME. I love those skits.

Anybody have a favorite fact?
Mine might be the one when the fact girl quit... or the one where [i think it was her neighbors?] had been married for [fourty?] years, and she said, "but of course the booze helps" lol. i love that.

02-06-2004, 10:52 AM
My favorite "It's a fact" has to be the set of Scott playing the Queen.....

02-23-2004, 02:44 AM
my favorite its a fact was either the its a fact girl wants more money, or bigfoot has a beautiful singing voice

Dart Shitter
03-10-2004, 06:08 PM
I like the sketch that never aired they made up for the last episode

"Hitler Blanks a Donkey"

"What's that mean old man doing to my Donkey?"

"That aint just any old mean man, that them theres Hitler, and he's fucking your Donkey"

03-11-2004, 09:03 AM
Hecubus us awesome, and live it was by far the best. My favorite skit on the show (off the top of my head) is the one where the father takes his son out to a field on his 13th birthday and shows him the family tradition. "Watch your old man get pathetically drunk" The kid just stands there as his dad drinks a whole bottle of Crown Royal. The father starts crazy streams of consciousness...They flip to his birthday party where his mom is alone with all the guests and she is trying to find things to do with the kids until the father and son get back. She's reading the kids horoscopes... "any one a Capricorn? no? Well I'll read it anyways"...

If you've seen it you'll know what I'm talking about. Hilarious.

The "Citizen Kane" skit is great too.

03-23-2004, 10:05 PM
I can't believe no one mentioned the old man who has the power not because he has the monkeys, but because he'll let the monkeys loose. Also, the one where Kevin Macdonald ends up getting humped by the rottweiler while McKinney(in drag of course) gets ready in the bathroom. Finally, what about the deal "Bowser"(?) makes with the devil - the jean jacket for marijuana hair.All great skits.

Damn, I love the kids. It sucks they're not playing them on Comedy Central anymore.

Dart Shitter
03-23-2004, 11:17 PM
speaking of old men, hte old man sketch where bruce as the old man keeps paying women to dance for him and he spends all his money until he's paying a bum to dance for him , HIGH-larious

03-26-2004, 02:37 PM
Almost forgot, the skit where Dave Foley is in bed and has a giant tarantula on his face. Then for some reason his wife starts getting all aroused, and then the kids come and start jumping on the bed.

I'm Lovin' It

03-30-2004, 12:28 PM
the salty ham sketch

04-15-2004, 06:35 AM
I like the ones that deal with Satan. In Search of Pot is classic. Scott trades his jean jacket to the devil for a head full of buds. Or the one where Bruce is the stereo sales man. "No Murray it's just life like hawk sound!"

Bruce's short films are great too. The Big Bucks!

04-15-2004, 08:56 AM
Originally posted by Dart Shitter
speaking of old men, hte old man sketch where bruce as the old man keeps paying women to dance for him and he spends all his money until he's paying a bum to dance for him , HIGH-larious

This was just going through my head earlier today. I can hear Bruce saying "yah, yah, ohhhh yah" over and over. :)

And Bruce in the record store: "If you become a Doors fan, Love Her Madly is the only song you won't like!"

Funniest has to be the two couples who just ate dinner together and they start revealing things to each other... Dave tells everyone he's impotent, Scott takes Dave's wife and starts humping her on the table, then Kevin says they hated the lamp they got for Christmas last year and everyone freaks out because that was over the line.... I'm not explaining that one very well, but if anyone saw it, you'd remember it.

04-15-2004, 10:11 PM
I love the sketch with the "Brown Stuff". hehe that was great.
I also love the ones where Bruce is the little kid and Mark is painting his chair. Classic.

04-16-2004, 07:59 AM
Originally posted by RonnieDobbs
I love the sketch with the "Brown Stuff". hehe that was great.
I also love the ones where Bruce is the little kid and Mark is painting his chair. Classic.

"I have to go now, I'm in a big bike race"... haha

04-16-2004, 11:06 AM
"In England, everyone only has one spoon."

"Yeah. And that's your spoon for your entire life, right? And if you lose it, you starve to death unless someone in your family wills you their spoon. And they have spoon millionaires in England, right?"

04-16-2004, 02:46 PM
i dont know if any one has mentioned it, but i love the sketch where the man follows all of the live nude signs then he gets into an empty room and "i'm crushing your head!"

Dart Shitter
04-27-2004, 12:15 PM

04-29-2004, 06:27 PM
anybody remember the one wher keven was in a business meeting and his brain kept telling him to put salt in his eyes?
'if you can also tell me what episode it was or if possible email it or something i would be ever so happy it was one of my favs. thanks

04-29-2004, 07:07 PM
Pet Business Man!

"If I can't keep Mr. Stephenson, I'm gonna hold my breath until I turn gay!"

05-17-2004, 10:46 PM
Girl drink drunk.

Doors fan.

And there was this one with a shoe salesman who had memorized a speech about how he couldn't speak any English in English.

05-17-2004, 10:53 PM
Originally posted by typsygypsy
And there was this one with a shoe salesman who had memorized a speech about how he couldn't speak any English in English.

Oh my god, that was fucking BRILLIANT!!! An absolute CLASSIC! I mean, it SERIOUSLY could've worked at ANY time in history!

05-19-2004, 01:24 PM
The sketch where Bruce works at a sausage factory and he's always stealin sausages to feed that old guy (Scott) that lives with him.

Dart Shitter
05-19-2004, 03:13 PM
echo, echo, echo......

05-19-2004, 03:33 PM
I just bought Season 1... I love the sketch where the white girl brings her black boyfriend (tony) home from college to meet her parents...

plate of rice kripsy treats...

Mom: Help yourself Tony...

Daughter: Oh what mom, next you'll have him serving us!?

It's a class-sick


Garry Flank
06-07-2004, 12:08 PM
"I'm a girl-drink drunk!!!"

06-08-2004, 03:49 PM
The one where u can go on holiday on Scott's body and swim in the pool on the small of his back.

The one where Scott is dressed as a bear.

The one where the bank teller chases after his pen.

The sketches with the incompetent surgeon who kills his patients.

The one where the chicken woman cooks an omelette for her date.

The man who squishes little heads making a girl at the disco puke.

The devil in the cupboard.

06-28-2004, 03:47 PM
I liked the Cannibal Mountain men who sing while canoeing through an office building

Garry Flank
06-29-2004, 05:06 PM
I loved the one with the guy who became a "girl drink drunk".
Hahaha, he quit his job and just made big fruity drinks all day.

Awesome stuff.

"They're made from monkey-cum, ya know?"

06-29-2004, 06:21 PM
I'm not sure if anybody has mentioned this one, but I like the one when Bruce is an old man in a recliner with a bag full of cash. He just sits there and pays women to dance in their underwear "Again" and "Again" until he runs out of money.

07-02-2004, 02:24 AM
These are the Daves I know.

07-02-2004, 09:36 AM
The one where Bruce has a piece of food on his face and he can't get it off because he keeps wiping the wrong side. I just had a moment like that myself.

07-05-2004, 06:33 PM
I like Hitler Fucking a Goat
or the soup

07-06-2004, 10:57 AM
Help me out on this one, I haven't seen it in a while. My favorite was about a trio of rednecks and one of them gets kicked in the head by a cow or donkey or something. The two lines I remember are:

"He can't find the salt."


"Could'a been worse. He could'a used'ta been smart."

Anyone know what season that's from?

Tammy Dobbs
07-06-2004, 07:37 PM
Sorry, don't mean to repeat anything but I don't wanna read through four pages of threads...wasn't a big KITH fan but enjoyed it when I saw it. What was the skit where two of them hang themselves from a tree outside somebody's house? Please tell me the tale! It was soooooooooooo funny and I have forgotten.

07-07-2004, 08:41 AM
they tried to get a loan from a bank with no credit, no addresses etc...and they got shot down, they kept saying "you hate us" all droopy and sad...

so they went to the banker ladies house and hung themselves from here tree...

i think that's close eh?

07-07-2004, 09:01 AM
Yeah, that's from one of the first few episodes.

I like the one where the same two guys are on a "double" date with one girl, and while trying to impress her, Kevin McDonald does a trick where his liver comes out of his mouth and then he eats it. Then the girl runs away.

"Nobody likes us." :(

07-08-2004, 12:24 AM
Either the teen angst kid, the jazzman, or of course Girl Drink Drunk

07-15-2004, 10:38 AM
On the Bonus section of season 1, there is a theatre scene where Dave and Bruce are in an apartment and they have a map so they don't get lost... It is absolutely genius.

07-15-2004, 07:19 PM
i haven't seen it in forever, but the one with the old man, the worker, and the sausage.

the dude man
10-18-2004, 01:47 AM
the head crushing is always good. then the doors sketches. and the grandpa poop sketch. cabbage head. the one where scotts sweat smeel really good and his company bottles it and sells it as a perfume. shit theres so many. and then the master and hecubis sketches. and the sketch where kevin and dave r vodville comedians and dave keeps messing up the jokes there just so many its hard to choose from. oh how about the one where all the guys r sitting around the table wishing they could have periods and stuff. and the alein anal probing sketches. and the do re mi fa so la ti do sketch i laughed my ass off. im having a hard time deciding.

10-18-2004, 03:17 AM
You would be much more effective at expressing yourself if you learned the BASIC RULES OF THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE.