First thing that's wrong with that post.

Second thing that's wrong with that post.

Third thing that's wrong with that post.

p.s. That didn't take nearly as much time to look up as you think. Let's not derail this thread mind you.

Powerloafing rocks, I just watched the remainder of those 'sneak previews' and I registered. Glory be.

I can't tell you how many times I was warned not to pursue comedy writing. A month after I moved to LA I gave a professional writer a script to read (9 seasons of Growing Pains - won't put his name because he might find this post and commit suicide, he seemed on the brink then), and he mailed me a letter ranting about how problematic my writing was, and concluded that I didn't have what it takes to be a TV writer. Some of his criticism was valid, but he was such a dick about it. I remember making a mental note that I never wanted to become that guy. I saw him at a comedy show a couple years later, right after I had won an emmy. He didn't ask about me, but just spewed bile about the entertainment business. I didn't tell him what I was doing for a living because he was a sad man already, and I'm not one to rub things in. I still have the letter as a reminder. So, I won't piss on anyones dreams, I'm sure there are plenty of people in your lives who are glad to do that.

Having said that, you have to be a little insane to want be a sketch writer. There are only a few dozen jobs at any given moment, and it's really hard to break in. Jobs don't often last long, so security is a rarity. But, it's not impossible to make a living, or even live comfortably. There is a constant demand for new ideas, and nobody is ever saying, "hey, we need some old blood on this show..." That is good for you stubborn youths.

BTW: It's a constant goal of mine to create TV shows. I haven't yet, but I have concepts, scripts, pitches, and I'm hitting that brick wall as hard as I can. If I ever break through, whether it's sketch or sitcom (I want to do both,) I would accept submissions from members of BUTM. There are funny people here with good taste, and I'm guessing some good writers. It may be a few years, but that gives you guys time to write some killer samples. Conversely, in regards to Terris' post - if one of you BUTM'ers rockets past me and over that wall, please take a look at my submissions. I'm easy going and I work hard. Deal? I would love to retire on your money.

m

P.S. I'm working a lot of hours trying to land a gig right now, and I might be closing in on something. I'll post as often as I can. Still a few items i wanted to deal with, and will get to them.

Heheheh

Thanks for the post, Mike.

Mike, what shows got you into writing? Did any one show ecspecially influence you growing up?

it actually is pretty good. but it needs a touch up before we start spreading it around.

plus we've got 2 more episodes on the go.

I cant' wait to be unemployed.

remember when we wrote together nick? and then you stopped paying the bills you son of a bitch, i've got so many ideas and no one from ottowa to share them with.

reading
 

I don't have a lawyer, but the lawyer I have on retainer in my head tells me "no." I just can't agree to read scripts on a public board, or I'd open myself up to reading scripts forever. Besides, both of you could be the same 55 year old man who ends up molesting me.

When I finally get a show I will accept submissions, and their will be clear guidelines, non-disclosure agreements, etc. I'll do a post on the proper etiquette for getting someone to read your material, because this is a really important subject, and I don't want to blow you off.

mike

i'm assuming more then one person sent you a message regarding script submissions?

To be honest the script isn't really ready to be graded by someone in the biz. (the spelling mistakes and lack of dialogue kind of make it choppy...)

Upskiiii: want don't you just go hang out in the foyer for about 4 years while TJ and I iron out the details.

Oh and Terris:

I have no lawyer to consult with, so let me just say this: WE WILL HAVE THAT SCRIPT DONE BY MAY 1st. 2005.

This I promise you.

or That I promise you. whatever.

shit we best be getting that script being done by then, or i will kiss you or kill

In the style of Esquire Magazines, "What Ive Learned.."
 

Advice for the Aspiring Writer
By Mike Talkingoutmyass Upskii

-Don't call yourself an "aspiring" writer. You don't have to be certified, just put words on paper and you can call yourself a writer. Award yourself the title and earn it as best you can.

-If somebody corners you and asks, "What do you do for a living?" Say, "I work at a pickle factory and I'm a writer," or "I'm an unemployed alcoholic and I'm a writer." It makes the most mundane existence seem romantic, and it might get you laid. (and it might not.)

-If you meet a writer who's working on that hit network show "Here We Go With This Shit Again" have at least one non-showbiz conversation before asking for the cell number of their agent. Discuss 2 comedy shows you both like, and 3 comedy shows you both hate, and one you disagree on before asking them to read your 1/2 hour spec script.

-If you meet the Executive Producer of that TV show, get to the point, say "I'm a comedy writer. Who does the staffing on your show?" Don't sell, just inquire, and mention that one of your scripts is getting positive reaction. Don't act like this is the last conversation you will ever be having together. Listen and improvise, and don't try to be funny. Don't talk about yourself unless it's relevant. Praise the show.

-Just because somebody is an industry professional doesn't mean they know what they're talking about. So if you are sure about something, don't change it. Unless you're being paid by said person, then think of another equally good idea that gets them off your back.

-When two writers argue themselves horse, you've got two shitty ideas on the table.

-Be the writer who comes up with the third idea that stops the argument. Or, at least be the writer who recognizes a better idea than the one they just staked their reputation on.

-Don't study comedy too much, or you'll turn into a gigantic bore.

-Don't fight for your ideas. It's not a fight; it's a civilized discussion. If you pull a knife you probably aren't that funny anyway.

-If there's a single joke in your script that everyone raves about, that joke is a hot dogger - cut it. Either that, or there's only one good joke in your script and you have to rewrite everything else.

-If somebody is telling you their idea and you think of something to add, don't say "Here, you can use this..." before pitching it.

-When you're giving somebody notes on a script, don't say "this doesn't work," say "this doesn't work for me."

-When you're pitching ideas, always say, "What if?" before the idea.

-Try to keep track of things you were wrong about.

-Don't worry about people stealing your ideas. You are lucky if it even gets read.

-Make your close friends read your stuff. They owe you.

Re: In the style of Esquire Magazines, "What Ive Learned.."
 

What's the reasoning behind this? I've got an internet friend in New York who's organizing a stage show, and I was helping him rewrite a few sketches. All I asked was that he give me a writer's credit on the program and then mail one to me. Aren't we supposed to be finding people to work with and sharing ideas?

Oh, definitely share the idea, but don't say "You can use this." It's presumtuous, and you wouldn't be telling them an idea if they couldn't use it. It also makes you look like a schmuck when they don't use the idea, like you just gave them a gift you thought was valuable only to have they look it over and hand it back. It's not a major faux pas, but "what if" is far better.

Congrats on the New York thing. You are right to ask for a credit in the program. I think you should get some cheap tickets, hit somebody up for a couch, fly to New York and watch the show you helped with.

I would but the show runs during the same week that I'm taking finals. My friend is gonna have someone filming the show along with a bunch of behind the scenes shit though, and he offered to send me a free DVD of it, so I'll get to see how it all went at the very least.

Could you explain the concept of a "hot dogger"?