That's pretty hip. man, Unbelievable that she made such an impact on so many important (to comedy geeks) people. I'm thinking it would be a BAD idea to approach, say, Patton and say, "Yeah, that's really a shame, man. I was really close with her. By the way, I have this script, and if you could just..." BAD fucking idea! Although... Could there actually be a fucking sketch there? A little lemonade, perhaps? NAHH! Y'all have met my good friend Ben Dunn, right???

FUCK, I've gotta stop posting in this thread while really, really drunk. (That's why that other post I did got edited, I think, maybe.) ANYWAY, edit at will, Cap'm!

Susie, Bobby, Rocky, Kyle and everyone else: Thank you so god damn much. I've only really just met most of you and I already feel like I'm part of your family. I love you all. Don't hesitate to call me if you need to.

For everyone who couldn't make it: I think I might have been the only one lucky enough to have attended, but I just wanted everyone to know the service was absolutely beautiful and lasted about an hour. Just beforehand, Julie's sister-in-law somehow found me without knowing what I looked like and told me Julie's mom would like it if I could make a speech. I'm absolutely terrified of public speaking and was extremely nervous to say "yes" at first but then I quickly decided I would do anything to help. The chapel was absolutely packed with many people having to stand. Numerous extremely large floral arrangments were splayed around Julie.

I hope I am able to remember enough of the order and everyone who spoke, but a family friend of, i think, 23 years was the first to speak. There were some touching and funny things said, but I really couldn't help but laugh at his dissertation on "Bruce Almighty." I know it was well-intended but I could just imagine what Julie really thought of that movie.

I'm pretty terrible with names right now and for that I apologize, but I believe Julie's "Nana" was up next. She told stories of watching after Julie and her cousin when they were kids and how much mischeif they would get into.

Julie's best friend from high school, Cristina, was up next and she did a terrific job. Her stories made me smile and tear-up at the same time. She talked about how she became fast friends with Julie after Julie noticed her Conan keychain--a story Julie actually recounted to me a couple of times. She had some great tales of visiting Italy and Greece and all kinds of other stories that I don't feel I remember enough to comfortably attempt to retell.

Next was a guy named Estevan. Unfortunately, I honestly couldn't pay much attention to his speech since I was up next, but what I caught was that he originally met Julie when she prank called him.

Next was a very, very unprepared me. The only thing I had figured out in advance was that I was going to end with the "Bygord to yourself" story which I recounted here as well. I told stories of us in NYC, in Texas, and ones of her friends from all over the continent. I know they know it but I just had to reitterate how much Julie loved her family to them, reminding them how much she called when she was out of town and telling them how much she talked about them when she wasn't on the phone. Just telling those stories made me feel better enough to be able to control my tears, some how. I'm not sure how, but some how.

I think Julie's Aunt Barbara was after me and she was very well thought out, organized, and funny. She told about all the things she loved and will miss about Julie--one thing not being sharing stuff about her online, like her accidental quote of "Is anyone else dying in here?" right after Julie's grandmother passed away.

I hope I am not leaving anyone out, but I believe the service was ended with a very beautiful song sung by a young woman whose name I did not catch.

Before we got on our way to the cemetary, I was able to talk to Cristina; We shared more stories and were able to laugh remembering Julie for the fucking goofball that she was.

During the precession I made calls to as many people as I could, telling them about everything.

When we got to the cemetary, I was more than a little freaked out. I knew what was going to happen but I just couldn't handle it. I'm going to keep this brief because I'd rather just not think about it too much. I was able to touch the casket, have a moment, talk to her family briefly, and Susie was nice enough to grant me permission to write a brief note. The only piece of paper I had was the index card I had already written on both sides of with the address and phone numbers of our friend Billy in NY, so I dedicated one side to our trip to NYC and everyone who was there. I was crying and shaking, pretty much unable to think of anything so I just wrote what was true: "We all love you from BUTM and AST." Short, simple, sweet, and 100% true. I was chewing some gum and was tempted to stick it to her casket just to fuck with her one last time, but I chose not to. Damn my respect for my friends.

A large group of people went back to Bobby's afterwards for a get-together/rememberance party. I have to say it was tough at times but otherwise very therapeutic. It was great to meet Bobby and talk to everyone else. Sharing funny stories about Julie (what other kind are there?) really helps out a lot. Julie's mom asks that everyone call her. She wants to hear stories and tell some herself--it makes her feel better. Also, Sarah's dad, little sister, and two uncles were able to make it down to Bobby's and it was very nice meeting them. Andrea looks and sounds just like her big sister and I wish her and her whole family the best. I want to make it down to Sarah's funeral on Saturday, but we'll see. It's kind of a far drive and I haven't been sleeping. I was lucky enough to have another ASTer drive me down today. Her dad said they are setting up a scholarship in Sarah and Julie's name to give away to one Tom Clark High School student going into the photography major and there will be details and a website soon.

I hope I covered that well enough for everyone. Ive been up for 27 hours straight on 2 hours sleep the night before (total hours of sleep since Friday night = 11 to 12). If not, please correct me, Bobby.

One bit of information that I learned was that a new witness came forward and this is apparently what happened when the accident occurred: The demoness cunt who was originally reported to have just tapped her brakes? NOT TRUE. There was green paint on Julie's REAR bumper and the witness says the woman clipped Julie from behind, sped around her, and then hit her brakes. I want her head.

Time to watch episode 303! The one with "Steve Kinda"! With commentary, of course! Good night.

huond
 

I just wrote what was true: "We all love you from BUTM and AST."

thank you huond. your strength and compassion is really amazing. XO

Thank you so much Huond.

I'm glad that your heart is so fucking big.

Hey, I've never posted on boards before really. I registered for myspace to post this letter for Julie but it wouldn't let me because it was way too long so you guys and aspecialthing are getting it. I'm not trying to rub in that you weren't my first choice just to explain the myspace references in here. But do keep in mind you weren't my first choice. I'm just kidding.

But it is true.

Honestly I'm glad to see the outpouring of kind words for Julie here. That's very nice.

Below I suggest people in NY (or wherever) congregating in a bar to root for the Spurs in her honor tonight. In fact my girlfriend is sick tonight so I might be limited to the second half but I encourage you to do this on your own wherever you live if you want to and are able. I'll try my hardest to come. (I was about to edit that last sentence to remove the double meaning which was accidental but out of respect, I'll leave it just as it is.)

Anyway, I hope there's no word limit here. Hey, tied-for-second choicers! Here's the myspace letter.

For Julie:

I want to give my very deepest sympathies to all of Julie’s and Sarah’s family and friends suffering through this unbearable tragedy. This is so overwhelmingly sad.

I’m Andy Blitz, “A Jew who tells jokes” as Julie’s words here (and my own tax return) describes me. If I was one of the people Julie wanted to meet, I’m very touched. After we did meet in New York, she was someone I wanted to meet again.

Julie told me she wanted me to join myspace. Now, to my disbelief and sorrow, I’m doing it just so I can write something in her memory. I assume she would have loved mocking my complete confusion/inability to figure out how to load a picture of myself onto my profile. I was really surprised and moved to talk to her good friend and learn that Julie’s final screen name PANCAKES (Get it?? Anyone?) was a reference to a bit I did on Conan once. Frankly, though, if I didn’t get the reference and it was my own line, I’m not sure what hope anyone else had. (But then again I see everyone else managed to figure out how to get your photos loaded up so who knows what kinds of other master riddles you braniacs can solve.) I found it very sweet anyway.

When I called Tuesday to order flowers for the service, and listened to the inept florist lady read back the card I’d dictated and she’d screwed up for about the twentieth time- (I heard things like “Woopsie! I misspelled ‘friend’” and “I’m sorry sir, your card MUST begin with the phrase “Our thoughts and prayers…" (really?) and “With sympathy, Andy Bilz” who I assume was supposed to be me) I realized Julie would not be proud of the patience I showed in the face of such crazily incompetent service. I felt the impulse to do what I imagined Julie would’ve wanted me to - to point out that “Our Thoughts and Prayers I will always remember Julie…” is a gibberish first sentence. And to gratuitously start every sentence I spoke to the florist lady on the other end of the line with the words “Our thoughts and prayers” to prove my point. (Our thoughts and prayers do you take Mastercard?) Also to ask how this woman, if I am sending this card alone, how I myself could possibly have our thoughts and prayers? Am I having them for both of us? Are you not having your own thoughts? Or are you co-signing this card with Andy Bilz? I reflexively wanted to respond that way and e-mail Julie the story and hope she’d pass it on to Sarah but because I couldn’t anymore, and it didn’t even make sense, I just felt too soft and sad and calmly coached the lost woman through it.

To the family and close friends of Julie's and Sarah's, my thoughts and prayers are with you. I wish they were still here.

If last New Year’s Day I could have somehow known I’d be fated to suffer a friend’s death before the year was half over, it would break my mind. And if I could somehow have known that I wouldn’t even meet this person for months yet, it would amaze me. But that is how immediately likeable and rudely funny, sweetly vulnerable, and unmistakably good-hearted under her gruff exterior, Julie was. I knew her a couple of months and feel a terrible loss.

I’ve talked about it with many people, including some who literally never met her, talked to her, or e-mailed her once in anyway, just read her posts on message boards and even they seem to genuinely miss her.

I met her only on May 1st when she came up to see a comedy show I was in up in New York in a place called Pianos. (The CD/DVD of these shows is now going to be dedicated to Julie and Sarah.) I got to hang out again and meet Julie's friend Sarah Laws and their other friends the first weekend of June down in Texas. A trip I made after Julie hooked me up with free airline tickets. When I asked how I could repay her for saving me the cost of airfare, she suggested I could buy her plane tickets as a gift.

The last night I saw them, June 4th, the city of Austin, Texas hosted not only my show with Eugene and Langhorne but also a biker party weekend with something like 20,000 middle-aged motorcyclists invading town as well as the logical companion to any Texas Biker Rally: Gay Pride weekend. Sarah snapped photos constantly, I guessed to prove to reasonable people who weren’t there that Austin really would decide to have those two events at the same time. I love Sarah’s photos and I loved the hilarious directions she gave me when I posed for a couple.

I remember Julie not drinking that night so she could be the designated driver and being relieved to see that but still feeling vaguely afraid for some reason. I was hoping to see her in New York later this summer.

I’m glad for whatever Julie got to enjoy in her time here and hope I played even a little part in that. I know I enjoyed her and am really, really grateful for every nice thing she said to me. And every not nice thing that made me laugh.

Sorry if my note is way too long by the way. I’ve never used this thing before and apparently have been confused by the name “myspace”.

Grief puts in perspective the triviality of things like sports but since loving the Spurs was a part of who she was, I intend, if I am at all able to go, to pick a bar in Manhattan tonight and pull for them like I promised her. If they lose, I’ll be very depressed and if they win, maybe I’ll be even more so that she’s gone but I’ll feel like I’m honoring her. Once I figure out the bar, I’ll post it and anyone in New York is more than welcome to come find me and join me. I look just like my picture. I know that doesn’t help you but it’s true.

(For anyone who doesn't understand basketball, just cheer when the people around you in Detroit jerseys look depressed. Unless it's because of marital problems or something in which case just leave it alone. No matter what happens in the game I'll raise a glass for my friends Julie and Sarah.)

Julie, I’m really so happy and grateful I had the brief chance to be your frined, ferind and especially friend. Our thoughts and prayers I miss you and will never forget you.

Goodbye Julie,
Andy

From the Austin-American Statesman yesterday:

Thanks huond, I think you might have found the ideal charity to donate to in light of this.

Here is that webpage: http://claryfoundation.homestead.com/Claryhome.html

Yes, please do. I live in New York and am dying to hang out with someone who knew her, have a few drinks and watch the Spurs mop the floor with whats-their-names.

I haven't posted yet in this thread. I don't really know what to say.

Julie was nice to me, and most people aren't.

Julie made me laugh, and most people don't.

Julie was probably a better person than me. I'd say the odds are pretty good. I'm not saying it should've been someone else who died, I'm just saying that the world is fucking bullshit.

I could've gone to a show in Arizona or whatever southwest state it was last fall with her and some other butm people. I had the money. I just didn't do it. I don't know why. I regret not taking advantage of the opportunity to meet her, but I'm probably glad I didn't. I've never had anyone close to me die. Ever. I don't know how I would've reacted. Is there a word for this kind of feeling? It's almost somewhat similar to being selfish, but when I'm the person who benefits/loses out on each side, I don't see how that could be right.

This post clearly makes no sense. Excellent.

I don't know if it's a national thing or what, but where I live, if you're going to dig in a yard, you have to call this number and they come out and mark where electricity and phone lines and that stuff is so you dont dig down into them. The acronym for the people who do this is J.U.L.I.E. Today at work, my boss told me to call J.U.L.I.E. in preparation for our next job. I don't know why, but when he said it, it nearly made me cry. It was by far the most upset I had been since hearing the news. I think a part of me is still just not accepting that she's gone. I probably didn't talk to her more than once or twice a week anymore, so in my head, this non-Julie thing is just a little blip so far. I need to find a way to deal with this.

Finally, I just want to add that I would pay upwards of a couple hundred dollars for a recording of those old conference calls that we meant/tried to save unsuccessfully.

I miss Julie.

Could it be that Julie is the first non-celebrity in history whose death affected so many people who never met her? I mean, because message boards are a pretty recent invention and there can't be THAT many that are this close-quarters where most of the people share a common interest aklsdjgf jhla;sd uilausdg does anyone get what I'm saying though because I definitely can't explain it very well but whatever.

About a year ago one of the guys that posted at NewGrounds.com also died in a car crash. I don't know if this many people were effected, but there were a lot of people who seemed to like him. I've never posted on that site, but i saw a memorial to him when i was checking the site one night.

Julie would have been a famous writer.

Mark my words.

She was 20 years old, had an awesome group of friends and associates who were helping her out.

And uh.. yeah she was pretty fucking funny.

I'm pissed of the whole world missed out on a chance to find out what we already knew.

Go Spurs.

When we were in NY, she would constantly write down ideas for channel 101 pilots. She saved them to my laptop (titled JULIE IS AWESOME.doc) but then wrote them in a notebook and deleted the file becuase she was afraid I would steal the ideas she had already pitched to me before she even wrote them down. Fucking goofball.

They were all just basic outline notes and probably wouldn't make much sense to anyone else if those pages were found. I'd love to see them again.

If anyone wishes to join me in my tribute (or avoid me):

I am hoping to make it to Redd's which is at 511 Grand St (btwn Union and Lorimer) in Williamsburg near the Lorimer L or G stop to watch the game. I don't know if I'll be there by tipoff though.

Andy, Thanks for coming to our nerdy little board to talk about her. It means a lot.

In other news, I'm dedicating my stand-up on Wednesday to her. I know that she probably would have hated it, and that me doing this doesnt mean much, but she was one of the few people here who I always felt the need to impress, so I think dedicating it would be appropriate. Of course I'm not going to mention it on stage, but you guys will know.

I was always scared to try stand-up but after talking to Julie's mom I know that I really have no choice.

But I know Julie will love my jokes. Which pretty much means the asshole open-mic night crowd is going to hate me.

But shit man, if i don't try doing something like this it would be so wrong.

Tj, I wish you luck.

I'm going to open and close with Mexican rape jokes in honor of Julie.

I met up with Andy (and one of his friends; I got wasted and forgot his name) and Billy from AST. Billy was an incredible host. My wallet was in my pocket the whole night. The Spurs won and we were the only people rooting for them. It was awesome a great feeling seeing them win.

I have to admit though that I am having such a Julie post-drinking night moment. I feel like I got too drunk and may have made myself look like an ass. I was so happy that Andy and Billy made it out that I think I got too giddy, the beers took over, and I looked like a fool. I hate myself. I'm going to start smoking.

ANDY, if I was a annoying, I apologize. Cripes

I didn't even go to work today. I snuck onto my roommates computer.

Crimony

She'd love not only the come from behind win but also I think the very real emotional attachment we all had- just because of her- to an Argentinian man who's name none of us could pronounce (And I'm half-Argentinian).

Even the drunk gambler at the end of the bar who said he lost hundreds of dollars he didn't have and would now get his jaw broken was a gracious loser. It didn't seem to dampenen his enthusiasm for air drumming to "Message in a Bottle" anyway.

I'm at Julie's right now and we're all looking at photos, telling stories, watching her dog Ace eat flies out of the air, and stuff.

Anyways, Jeff: Do you remember us begging Julie to not start smoking? There are a couple cigarettes in front of her TV here and her mom came in and told us that Julie said, "Mom, I haven't been able to do it yet, but I'm trying really hard to start smoking." Fucking weirdo.

I'm glad you, Billy, and Andy were able to meet up last night. Billy called and told me that he gathered all of his friends that even briefly met Julie when she was in town for last night. He is #1 in my book.

I was thinking the same thing. I post here only rarely, I really just swing by because I think there are alot of really clever people out there who post exceptionally funny things here on a regular basis. But I wanted to just throw something up there because, even though I didn't know Julie at all, she made me laugh quite often, and, now that she's gone, the sense of loss is genuine and profound.
While I can't even begin to offer any meaningful condolances to Julie's friends and family in the face of something so incomprehensibly awful, I totally get what scotch is saying. Julie didn't have an agent or PR. People knew about her simply because of her unique personality; because of who she was as a human being. She was by no means famous yet completely audible, and I just think that's kind of amazing.

Ok, I have never posted... but i have read every post in this thread and everyone said such sweet things. Reading them made me cry. I never even met Julie, and the loss of her made such an impact. What an amazing girl.

I'm going to eat your 1 LB burger for you. Wish you could be here.

.

I believe it's Eric Wareheim from Tom Goes To The Mayor.

.

Wow.

I finally get home and come to check the site, thinking to see and read some funny stuff and I find this.

Thanks a lot, Julie.

Ohh...I just made myself sad.

I dont really know what to say. I never really knew Julie like some others of you did but she was always nice to me. She was one of few people who have posted somthing in my myspace account. Which, I think, was really nice considering that we didnt know each other very well. We only talked a few times but when we did I couldnt help but think how funny she was, as in, not trying to be funny but just was. I'm very sad that I'll never get to meet her or even talk to her again. I wish I had talked to her more when I had the chance. But alas, I'm shy around beautiful, funny, smart women.

You will be missed Julie Self, and though of often.

Much love to all that are hurting.


(((BUTM)))

memories of julie
 

i talked to julie mostly online and not very frequently but i'm going to post the things that made me laugh my ass off:


on seth's myspace:
Hey, I lost an aborted baby this weekend - do you know where it might be? Let me know, okay? THANKS!

on my myspace:
You're like a cup of me, sprinkled with a dash of Gogo. Ahahahaha, I'm just kidding. We're fun. We have fun haircuts. We have funny heads. We are silly girls. Gaaagagagagahahahahahahaha.

Sorry, something is wrong with me.


EASTER JOKES!!!!!!
Q: What did the religious kids do after they found their Easter Eggs?
A: Got arrested for trying to feed them to Terri Schiavo.

Q: What did Terri Schiavo say after her husband said, "Happy Easter"?
A: sschlasdbsasd ::gurgle:: pdsf sdffv ssssssssssssssss.

Q: Why can't Terri Schiavo drive?
A: 'CAUSE SHE'S A WOMAN!! (LOL!!!1!!)


Hey! It's 6:30 in the AM, we shouldnt be fi OOH MAN FUCK THIS I JUST REMEMERED SAVED BY THE BELL IS ON IVE BEEN WATCHING IT ALL WEEK HOW DID IFORGET FUCK

Q:What do Jeff and a fannypack have in common?
A: Both are little and can often be found around a gay man's waist, and both are FUCKING RETARDED.

(sorry jeff but its funny)

also when i posted a blog about losing my dog she sent me an im and was very concerned and i thought that was so sweet.

I watched Strangers with Candy on saturday and thought that she could probably write that show...

and also a caught a few prank calls she made during our conference calls..but they were hilarious just fucking hilarious.

anyway if i think of more i'll post 'em...


anyone else?

She was really sad for me when my cat died too.

Thanks Everyone!
 

Bobby again. Just wanted to say thanks from the family. I think this forum and the huge response has helped my parents out tremendously. Things are getting a little tough for me in the recent days. My mind is spinning all day long. I can't stop thinking about that turd! I miss her so much! Ugh!

I've started gathering all the video tapes and pics and trying to organize them. For now, I posted a few pics on my son's site:
http://homepage.mac.com/rrack/PhotoAlbum50.html

I'll try n post more soon and maybe get some video up there.

I know that this has slowed down. I just want everyone to always remember her. She was one of a kind! I know that you'll be talking to someone in ten years and remember some stupid crazy vulgar thing that she did or said. Just keep that alive and keep everyone laughing.

And if there is any stories or things that you'd like to share, pics, or video. Please do so here or e-mail me at: RRackley@satx.rr.com

Bye for now...

BTT...
http://homepage.mac.com/rrack/PhotoAlbum50.html

I only recently heard when I called Tommy about two days ago.

This is really hard to believe. It feels surreal. I mean I know it's true but it really is hard to swallow that she's actually gone.

I'm speechless. The only thing I can think of saying is that I'm so sorry and I wish my best to her family and really close friends.

I never knew Jules went to Europe. Man that is so fucking shocking to me. NOt sure why, maybe because she lives in Texas and it blows all my stereotypes out of the water... but then again she did that alot with my stereotypes.

I can't imagine how many fucked up things she must have done over there.

Anyone here ever hear her stories from the old continent?

I am really having a hard time picturing our little Jules giving a handjob to a spanish woman.

Seriously, try to picture it.

Thanks a lot for posting that Bobby.

Man, lately I have been missing her Tommy West impersonation. No offense Tommy, but it was absolutely fucking hilarious. I don't know how she did it. I mean, she said a LOT of funny things in her day but her Tommy imitation caught me off guard once while she was in New York and I still bust a gut about it.

I had this old joke about how "do left handed people wipe their asses with their left hands....I tried it and it's tough"

Julie wrote back saying:


"Nick, I'm left handed, y'know? And the other day I tried to wipe my ass with my right hand - and I couldn't do it. It didn't work. It was weird, I was just getting shit all over my ass and other private parts!! "

oh shit i love it.

conference call....
 

I saved a chat we did after the 2nd conference call, the one where Julie was the Gigglette... etc...

Here are a few clips from that conversation:

(Julie seduces Robert the Mexican hotel bell hop)

Julie: I'm drinking
Mexican Robert: oohhh.. what are you drinking?
Julie: umm.... rum and uh vodka
Julie: I'm going to come and see you in LA
Mexican Robert: how long are you in Austin for?
Julie: uh until uh tomorrow
Mexican Robert: when are you coming to LA?
Julie: uh next week.... yeah.
Julie: i can drive fast or i can drive slow
Julie: Maybe I can show you MY front desk
Julie: holiday inn.. more like holiday out.... it's sure not a holiday inn teehee heee I'm so drunk.



(when the Giggle brothers (us) tried to explain our act to the comedy store)

Julie:"I'm the Gigglette"
Comedy Store (getting angry) "which one of you brothers is fucking her"

and we were all like "uhhhhhh..."
Julie: no no, we are ALL brothers!

Julie: I'm calling from the doctor's office to tell the club owner he had an "acute case of the giggles"
Comedy Store (annoyed): hold on let me write this down...'acute case of the giggles'
Julie: right, and the cure is a shot of the giggle brothers.

(everyone bursts out in laughter)



(Us talking about Julie)

Nick: jesus was julie ever loud eh
Chris: HAHAHHAHA
Tj: yeah, i had to point it out to her there
Chris: JULIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
terris: so loud, it scared me
terris: she will most likely beat her partner
terris: whether it be man women or other
Nick:i like how 2.5 hours into that conference this sexy little voice comes out of nowhere and we are all like "julie, that was sexy" ... and then in a real butchy voice julie says "that wasn't me y'all"

I just joined after all of this happened. I just got through reading this thread, and wanted to offer my sympathy for all of those who knew her. Im sorry.